


what the heart longs for

by jerikair



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Au-coworkers/neighbours, Drama, F/F, Post-breakup, Romance, Singji nation rise!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24305368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jerikair/pseuds/jerikair
Summary: Minji always feared of how much of plans for ideal future life her own heart could ruin. Meanwhile there was Siyeon who fully embraced and accepted the desires of her heart later severely suffering from it.What if these two opposite to each other people will live side by side?
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Siyeon, Kim Minji | JiU/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	1. tarte aux fraises

**Author's Note:**

> 1)Initially this work was planned as one-shot, but I got too much things to add so I split it into several parts. Enjoy!  
> 2)English is not my first language.

The front doors of a hotel are harshly pushed aside by a brunette woman who’s walking hastily towards a downtown part of the city. Her eyebrows are frowned and lips are pursed tightly, eyes are puffy from crying previously. She quickly wipes the tears that are about to fall again. Nevertheless she’s still looking ahead of her.

Then after her there’s an another woman that’s a bit shorter than the first one. Seemingly she tries to catch up on the brunette one. 

“Siyeon, wait—“ The shorter woman pleads catching her hand however Siyeon immediately pulls out. “Please Siyeon I—“

“Shut up, Bora! I don’t want to hear anything from you!” Siyeon yells not caring about passerby’s stares unlike other woman. Seeing Bora’s uneasiness about being publicly exposed renders Siyeon even more furious. But instead of letting out her anger on her, she coldly warns her with a pointed finger that’s hitting shorter woman’s chest too roughly. “If you at least loved me, then let me be and never show up in front of me again.”

“But Singnie—“ Bora’s cheeks are wet too, her puffy eyes are full of guilt and sadness.

“I said what I said. Don’t make this situation even worse.” Brunette cuts the other woman and then scoffs, now not caring anymore and letting tears to stream. “Three years of our relationship and all this down the drain. You know, I even wanted to propose to you, Bora... but you... ruined everything.”

Then she turns around and walks away not even sparing a glance behind her. Bora isn’t chasing her anymore which makes Siyeon feel a little bit better so she can take a breath. Something in her heart badly aches and a lump in the throat is not going anywhere. She just walks aimlessly looking straight ahead. Sometimes she turns a corner for no reason. It’s past evening and the sun slowly goes down the horizon. The city is becoming more crowded and noisy so Siyeon heads towards the area where’s more quite and peaceful. Her thoughts are a mess and inside of her there’s still a boiling anger and bitterness. 

Eventually she ends up in front of not-so-remarkable café. The only thing that made her enter was its name: «Alice’s wonderland». 

“How ironic.” Siyeon thinks while pulling the front door of the cafe. “The reminder of her haunts me at the very moment I want to forget her.” 

Apparently it’s a café that bakes various kinds of cupcakes, tarts and other sweet bakery. When a waiter asked Siyeon of what she wants to order, she told the cafe worker that their best menu dish would be okay. In the end she got fruit tart with strawberry milkshake. Siyeon doesn’t eat them at all because Bora is always picky about food. But now eating this tart made her feel a little bit better. Even though at this kind of situations, when Siyeon’s mood really can’t be worse and any food had to taste bad, surprisingly, sweet taste of the fruit tart somehow alleviated the bitterness inside of her. Since then the tarts became one of her favourite sweets. 

It’s been two weeks since Siyeon really enjoyed life for herself. Lately she’s been really dejected not wanting to go out or leave her apartment. She just wanted to stay in her bed and not move for a long time. Siyeon sometimes caught herself on a thought of being depressed but then she quickly dismissed that. She’s just upset, that happens considering her case. But, of course, sooner or later she needed to go to the office. 

She will get to the work again tomorrow morning. However, she’s sure her boring days won’t change that much even if she will leave her apartment once a day. These kind of monotonous days were rare in her life but they had to be present sometimes so Siyeon could feel a little bit better after them. She still hoped she will able to do it.

“Unnie, when where the last time you cleaned this place?” Yoohyeon exclaims while catching the displeasing smell of something she couldn’t distinguish. “We need to tidy up here. Now I don’t have enough time for that but tomorrow I guess we’ll do it.” 

“Whatever.” Siyeon says while staring at her dirty grey ceiling in a dim room. Nowadays her eyes hurt when being blinded by the lights of sun so she keeps her apartment dark and isolated from any source of light. Then she hears how her strangely raspy voice say. “Are you done, Yoohyeon-ah? You know you don’t need to do that.”

“But I’m worried, unnie.” Younger woman responds while sitting down beside laying Siyeon. “Bora unnie is worried too.”

“Please don’t say anything about her.” Something triggers in Siyeon at the mention of the other woman. Sleeping anxiety wakes up in her chest. To calm herself down Siyeon starts to breath slowly continuing the conversation. “Why you still live together? You don’t like her too.”

“Financial problems.” Yoohyeon sighs while looking at the brunette’s back covered in blankets. “Even if I want to move somewhere else I can’t. For now.”

“Get a job then.”

“You say it like it’s easy for a student to find a financial stable job.” Siyeon can hear the pout in the younger woman’s voice. It makes a little smile on her lips and she can feel how her heart starts to beat more slowly getting back to its regular rhythm.

“I was a student once too.” 

“Well not a med one. So it’s a different story.” Then Siyeon can hear how Yoohyeon stands up. “Well it’s time for me to go. Tomorrow I’ll come again. Please take care of yourself, unnie.” 

Then the front door closes and Siyeon is again engulfed by heavy silence. Over time this displeasing feeling of a loneliness will slowly but firmly alleviate anyway.

Even if she assured Yoohyeon that she doesn’t have to come almost every single day and bring her the groceries, considering she’s a broke med. student, Siyeon shamelessly got convenient to that, not going out to buy food and stuff. At some kind of point she felt herself like an animal, Pavlov’s dog, which, Siyeon was sure, Yoohyeon knew and treated her like one so she can finally do something about her situation. For two weeks she didn’t have to go outside and get to the local supermarket but now that her dear friend stopped doing it on purpose, Siyeon had no choice. Or maybe in the end Siyeon has the paranoia and Yoohyeon was just out of the money. Yeah, the second option was more convincing and normal.

Anyways she has no choice other than to leave her apartment in order to survive and satisfy her natural needs as a human. So Siyeon in her usual grey sweatpants and black hoodie with white slippers locks the front door behind her. She’s frowning due to the bright lights of the hallways and looking around. Everything stayed the same as if two weeks didn’t past, unexpectedly, except one thing. 

“Did someone moved in?” Siyeon quietly asks herself from a bad habit of talking to herself, staring at the bunch of boxes outside of her neighbour door. They were placed upon one another messily as if the owner hastily just threw them. If someone really moved in, Siyeon doesn’t regret not saying goodbye to the previous neighbour, an old nagging man she disliked at some point. 

Then she simply shrugs it off, continuing her way to the elevator. Siyeon, as a person who doesn’t like crowded places, isn’t pleased with the fact that she lives at the eleventh floor. Every time in order to leave or enter the building she has to be stuck with people for several minutes which makes her really uncomfortable and sometimes claustrophobic. 

When doors of the elevator opened luckily today the brunette didn’t encounter anyone. While entering it she hopes no one will use the elevator at the same time as her. 

Later she didn’t have any accidents on her way to the local market. Except, of course, the glares that some customers and the cashier gave her. She knew her current appearance isn’t so pleasing due to big bags under her eyes and messy hair. But now she doesn’t care. The most important thing right now is to get the groceries and return to the apartment quickly. 

After entering the building, she’s now in the elevator sighing with relief as no one beside her. Siyeon is ready to press the closing button but, of course, the fate wants to mess with Siyeon.

“Please, hold it!” Female voice hastily calls out. Usually Siyeon with no hesitation wouldn’t wait, but just because it’s not some man and the owner of the female voice sounds kinda desperate, she instead presses opening button. Two seconds later in front of her there’s a blonde woman her age with a huge box. She rapidly pants due to seemingly running previously and her side forehead shines from sweat. As Siyeon looks at her, she finds her face familiar as if she’s seen her from somewhere. While the brunette wonders from where she might know her, the blonde smiles and enters the elevator. “Thanks for waiting for me.”

“Oh, i-it’s n-not big of a deal.” Siyeon stutters, immediately cursing herself for that. It’s been a long time she talked to strangers. Then to not look more awkward she quickly presses her floor’s button. After a moment she realises that the woman beside her is busy holding a box so she clears her throat and asks. “Which floor do you need?”

“You already pressed mine.” The woman says with the cheerful smile on her face. With one hand she tries to hold a box supporting it with her knee while stretching the other one. “So we’re neighbours! I moved in here yesterday, Kim Minji. Please take good care of me.” 

“Lee Siyeon.” The brunette slightly bows her head and accepts other woman’s hand. Even though Minji with difficulty holds a seemingly heavy box, Siyeon can feel how the blonde’s handshake is firm yet warm. “Our locals are not so noisy so it should be alright.”

“Good to know that,” Minji smiles adjusting the box in her hands. Siyeon, who’s been really down lately, wonders how can a person smile all the time like a sunshine even though it’s purely out of politeness. 

The quite awkward atmosphere falls upon them. The main reason why Siyeon hates to be with anyone in closed spaces. She can’t really hold a conversation well because she simply doesn’t know what to say due to lack of information about a person she’s talking to and a constant anxiety to look like an idiot if she finally says something. Only with close friends, like Yoohyeon, the woman can talk with no worries about being judged.

“How long have you been living here?” Minji nonchalantly asks. 

“I guess...it’s been two years now.” Siyeon answers just realising that it’s been that long. Two years ago the only reason she moved in here was that Bora really insist... Siyeon shakes her head to stop thinking about it. Then she quickly glances to her right if her actions made the woman beside her uncomfortable. Minji just smiles again making brunette blush. “I guess you’re happy to live in a new apartment.”

“Yeah, frankly, I am.” Minji chuckles. The elevator finally stops at their floor. Siyeon quickly leaves hoping that her new neighbour won’t talk to her more. Later when Minji placed her last box in front of her door, she looks at Siyeon’s direction who unlocks and proceeds to enter her apartments slamming the door. Minji continues to stare thinking. There’s something interesting and charming about that woman...

Several days later Siyeon randomly thinks about her new neighbour. She’s now having a lunch break with her colleagues who chit chat. In her head there’s an image of the blonde with a pie in her hands and a friendly smile. That time she came to her bringing self-baked pie as a polite sign of a new neighbour. So polite and delicate, almost perfect woman if not the strange shade in her eyes that hides something. 

“...hey, did you hear that Minji from the third floor’s finance department is gonna be again promoted?” Someone asks making Siyeon ears to perk up at the mention of the woman’s name. Minji from the finance department. Siyeon finally remembers the place where they actually met: two months ago at the cafeteria she accidentally knocked off Minji. At that time the blonde seemingly was occupied with something else as she quickly apologised and retreated not even sparing a glance at Siyeon. 

What Minji was worried about so much that she wasn’t noticing anything around her? Siyeon also recalls the state that the woman was in: her hair was kinda messy and her face was noticeably pale and thinner. Usually she doesn’t pay so much attention to anyone but she checked Minji in a fear of hurting her.

“Really...She improved so much in such short time. Quite impressive!” 

“Not like our Siyeonie.” And everyone laughs and giggles making Siyeon displeased and humiliated. The brunette with pursed lips and a frown leaves, at last hearing. “As usual, she can’t take jokes...”

“How’s your work?” Yoohyeon asks at the dinner table while chewing some spicy sliced cucumbers. Today earlier when Siyeon got back from work, she spotted silver haired woman who almost finished cleaning her house. Of course, the brunette wasn’t pleasant with it as they originally planned to clean together. So in the end Siyeon prepared dinner for them. “Everything alright there?”

“Of course, as always.” Siyeon answers trying to smile convincingly. It doesn’t quite work as the med. student stares at her with worry. “Really, Yoohyeon, it’s okay.”

“You know, if two years ago you were that discontent with your current work, you would immediately leave and start something new.” Yoohyeon says while gesturing with chopsticks. “I know that you’re depressed—“

“I’m not depressed, I’m just upset, okay?”

“Nevertheless,” Yoohyeon continues this time putting down her chopsticks. “Even if it sounds cliché, Siyeon unnie, you should make some steps towards your dreams and follow your heart. Isn’t it what _you_ said to me when we first met?” 

_It might sound cliché, Yoohyeon-ah, but you should follow your dreams and do what you really want._

Siyeon doesn’t know how to respond as the old memory crips out in her mind.

_“Babe, stop,” Bora whines while trying to stop her girlfriend who’s tickling her. “Babe!”_

_They laugh and giggle eventually making out on the Bora’s bed. It continues until the front door opens and Bora immediately pulls out fixing her hair and clothes._

_“Um...sorry to interrupt?” Silver haired girl says while placing her shoes on the cupboard. She doesn’t look in the couple’s direction as not to show them her blush. “I had to return earlier as my night shift is given to another student. So sorry for ruining your night, guys.”_

_“It’s alright,” Siyeon says while getting up and walking towards silver haired girl. Siyeon politely bows her head, widely smiling. “It’s a good opportunity to finally meet you then. My name’s Lee Siyeon, your roommate’s girlfriend.”_

_“Kim Yoohyeon. Nice to meet you.” Yoohyeon says while bowing her head too._

_“How about making dinner with us, Yoohyeon-ah?”_

“Unnie?” Yoohyeon calls out and covers older woman’s hand with hers. Siyeon snaps out of the old memories and focuses on her. “I understand that you can’t do it now because you’re...upset. But you should know that whatever will happen, I’ll be always by your side. Like you were by mine when I lost my dad. Honestly, unnie, I just want you to feel better.”

“Thank you, Yoohyeon-ah,” Siyeon smiles and squeezes other woman’s hand. “For real, thank you.” 

“Oh, hey, neighbour!” Siyeon hears from behind someone calling. She guesses that wasn’t addressed to her so she continued to walk towards her living building. However the exclamations aren’t stopping and getting closer and louder. She finally turns around and sees Minji, who’s running in hurry towards her side. Judging by her outfit, it seems that the blond is on a running session. When she finally reaches Siyeon, she takes time to catch her breath while mumbling. “Surprisingly, chasing after you is more challenging that regular running.” 

“Hey.” Siyeon greets while awkwardly rubbing her side arm and looking around.

“Hey,” Minji answers back and straightens up. Her regular friendly smile again appears. “How about we walk together?” 

“Ah, okay.” 

First two minutes for some reason they walk in silence. Minji listens to the surrounding noises and enjoys the fresh evening wind against her face, her hands are in her pockets. Siyeon looks down at her walking feet, thinking why in the first place Minji wants to be in her company if she simply can’t hold conversations. God, Minji should’ve just walk past by, pretending not to notice her. 

“It’s a wonderful weather, isn’t it?” The blonde finally speaks up.

“I guess it is.” 

“I especially like this part of the day. You know, when the sun slowly sinks below the horizon making everything around so visually pleasing with its last orange-reddish rays.” While listening to the woman speaking Siyeon’s anxiety slowly melts down. “And I like our neighbourhood. It’s really convenient to run here. Makes me think of Japan. Do you like this country?” 

“Yeah...I really enjoy their music, especially j-rock songs.” The brunette responds adjusting her plastic bags full of groceries. Minji notices it.

“Let me help you.” She says while reaching and taking the heavy ones into her hand. Siyeon didn’t even have time refusing. 

“Thank you...”

“It’s nothing,” Minji chuckles. “So you like Japanese music?”

“I want to visit Japan once so I can be at the concerts of my favourite bands there.” 

“Yeah, me too. I mean visiting the country,” They turn a corner and can already see the tall building where they live. “I suppose I got my fondness for Japan from one of my friends. She kinda reminds me of you, the same aura I guess.”

And there’s a silence again because Siyeon doesn’t know what to respond. They walk like this until they reach the eleventh floor. Both women stand at Siyeon’s door. The brunette takes the rest of plastic bags thanking the other one. Siyeon is ready to wish good night and close her door but Minji holds up her hand. When she turns around, the blonde awkwardly coughs taking her arm back.

“You know, we should spend some time together, don’t you think?” Minji asks hiding her arms behind her back. For the first time during this encounter Siyeon finally feels like she’s not the only one who’s awkward or nervous. “I want to visit one local Japanese cafe that you might like.”

Wait...Did she just asked her out? Then, first of all, why is she so interested in Siyeon? The brunette thought she’s the most boring person ever right now. And, second of all, she’s not sing...Siyeon bites her lips. Right, she is single. However, lastly, Minji isn’t straight? But what if she’s just asking her out on a friendly meeting? Siyeon sighs. Anyways, she must admit she’s not ready to meet someone new. 

“I’ll think about it,” Finally the brunette answers.

“Of course, take your time,” Minji lets out a nervous laugh. “Good night then, Siyeon-ah.”

“Good night.” Siyeon says bowing. Then she closes her door leaving Minji to stand in the hallway and contemplate of what did she just say. Her way of telling that she wants to be friends and go out more felt...really weird. Minji frowns as she can’t find an exact answer of why she’s feeling like this right now...

“..let’s go to that new restaurant! I heard they deliver really tasty dumplings.”

“Are you serious? I thought we were going to drink soju with some meat!” 

“But—“

“You better listen to your sunbae, buddy.”

“Fine...you boring hag.”

“What did you say?!”

“Guys stop it!”

Siyeon can’t help listening to some of her colleagues talking about after-work meal. For the last two weeks she hasn’t been going with them even though they’d invited her many times. Now no one even expects from her to join them as they’ve got tired of calling her out of politeness. So nowadays she usually goes straight to her apartments so she can rest in her bath so she can wash away her exhaustion from a long boring day at work.

After saying farewell to her colleagues she’s walking down the streets towards metro station. Downtown noises of night city somehow calms yet bores her. She’s thinking about why her life got so displeasingly grey. Maybe Yoohyeon is right, she needs to change something...

Amidst that noises Siyeon barely distinguishes the signal from one particular car beside her. At first out of habit she again thinks that it’s not addressed to her but as no one turns towards it she checks if the owner of the black car really is calling her. The car stops honking and its window slowly opens revealing familiar face.

“What a coincidence, Siyeon-ah! Are you getting back from work?” Siyeon nods her head noticing the way Minji’s got her working tie more loose and her rolled up sleeve on the right elbow that’s placed on the wheel. Generally this sloppy look of her white shirt makes somewhat Minji attractive. “Then hop up, I can give you a ride home.”

“I can get home by myself. I don’t want to burden you, unnie.”

“Come on. I’m heading there anyways.” In the end, convinced, Siyeon sighs and gets in the car. Minji smiles, satisfied that the other woman didn’t reject her offer. She turns her car on the main road. “So you work around here?”

“Actually, we work for the same company.” The inside of the car feels pretty comforting considering that it doesn’t smell here with strong smelling perfumes that most men use in their cars. Siyeon can feel pleasing smell of cherries or maybe strawberries. “When we first met I thought about where did I see you. Turns out, not only we’re neighbours but also kinda colleagues.”

“Really?” Minji’s eyebrows slightly rise while her eyes are still focused on the road. “Well I didn’t see you there for once. You work in other department?” 

“Yeah. I’m from the first floor’s service department and I’ve been working there for about three years now.” Siyeon answers while looking at how she pinches her own skirt out of nervousness. She expects scoff from the other woman about why she’s still stuck there as if she likes being among junior workers. 

“Oh, I see. That means you’re my sunbae. Well that’s...pretty interesting.” Minji chuckles. There wasn’t any mocking in her tone. Siyeon, surprised by that, looks up at her side profile. Minji playfully glances at her. “Do you want me to call you sunbae?”

“Of course not, unnie. Let’s keep it old way.” Siyeon hastily answers, unconsciously blushing. “Seriously, don’t make things more awkward.”

“Oh, so it’s really awkward between us?” Minji pouts.

“No, it’s not...you misunderstood—“

“Nah, I’m just messing with you.” The blonde chuckles. Then when the traffic lights in the front turn red and the car stops, Minji with big smile on her face fully turns to the woman beside her. “That’s why I wanna get rid of this stiffness between us. You know, something in you really attracts me. I still didn’t figure out what, but I wanna find it out. So we should go out often. If you don’t mind.” 

“No, of course, I don’t.” Siyeon answers gulping loud. She feels so small under Minji’s stare. Besides that, the temperature in the car might got increased. 

“I’m glad then.” Minji with satisfied grin answers and continues to drive as the traffic lights turned green. “Siyeon-ah, are you hot? Maybe I should turn on the conditioner?”

“Yes, it would be great.” Siyeon nods even though Minji is looking straight ahead of her. 

“It’s cosy here.” Minji notes when both of the women entered Siyeon’s apartment and the owner turned on the lights. There’re different paintings on the walls depicting some foreign landscapes and some conveying, as Minji recognised, expressionism images. “You like art?”

“It was my hobby. When I felt anxious, looking at them made me feel somewhat calm and remember what I really wanted.” Siyeon responds as she quickly fixes few things: dirty clothes that are scattered on the ground. Minji pensively stares at her neighbour. “Sorry that it’s messy here, I didn’t expect guests.”

“It’s okay. No need to do it...Seriously, Siyeon.” So Siyeon stops when Minji holds her hand that was about to lift black T-shirt. Siyeon’s head pulses because of tiredness and uneasiness that’s been growing through the day. Seeing pale face of the other woman Minji carefully removes her hand away giving Siyeon some safe space. Worry is written all over blonde’s face. “If I’m making you that uncomfortable, it’s better for me to leave.”

“No, unnie, it’s not you.” Siyeon says staring at warm chocolate eyes. “It’s just...It’s not because of you. Your presence rather calms me a little bit.” 

Siyeon doesn’t understand why she’s saying all of this and acting that desperate in front of Minji, a total stranger whom she’s known for just two weeks. In the back of her head the sanity whispers that it’s wrong and vulnerable to be exposed like this, but the warm dark brown shade of the woman’s eyes and the worry in them makes her to do otherwise. Siyeon wants to trust them. 

“Are you sure about it?” Minji with doubt asks her. If it’s not her making Siyeon anxious then what?

“Yes.” 

“Fine, I’ll stay.” Minji concludes rather with apprehension. Then she stands up making Siyeon sit on the sofa. Minji is on her knees trying to catch Siyeon’s eyes. When she succeeds in it, Minji tries to reassures her by warmly smiling and gently patting her knee. “You know what, Siyeon-ah? You sit and rest here while I’ll make you some tea. And I don’t accept any objections. If anything, I’ll ask you, okay?” Siyeon just nods. “Then I’ll be better making it.” 

“So you’re saying your new neighbour stayed up a night with you?” Yoohyeon asks with narrowed eyes looking skeptic. She came to Siyeon’s as usual expecting regular quite boring yet needed retell of the older woman’s past day. Yoohyeon isn’t Siyeon’s personal therapist, however she’s worried about her friend so daily reports of the woman’s past days somewhat alleviates her concerns. That’s why for Yoohyeon it’s a real surprise that Siyeon is sharing about out of regular things that happened to her. “Please do not tell me that you two—“

“Of course, not!” Siyeon gets flustered by her friend’s assumption. “We just drank some tea and then decided to watch TV shows. During that Minji quickly fell asleep. I couldn’t just wake her up and make her leave! I’m not a monster after all...”

“Is she pretty?” A playful grin appears on the younger woman’s face. “Your new neighbour.”

“Of course, she is, but why you asking?” Siyeon senses something suspicious about Yoohyeon’s words.

“You know, now that I think about it...” The silver haired woman starts off slowly, looking pensively and stroking the sofas smooth arm. “You should use this opportunity to forget her. After all, your life must go on. She might help you with that.”

“Oh god, Yoohyeon, we’ve known each other for just two weeks!” The brunette groans rubbing the bridge of her nose. This brat will be the end of her one day.

“But you’re not denying the fact that she definitely has an interest in you.” Yoohyeon points out with sly grin that Siyeon wants to wipe it from her face. “Come on, unnie, you should give it a try. Especially if she’s really that nice and sweet how you described earlier.”

“But what if she just wants to be friends?” That thought has been worrying her for days since she realised that she might developed a crush on her neighbour. 

“You should simply ask her then.” Her friend shrugs as if her suggestion is that easy to accomplish. “You know, if she says that, yes, she just wants to be friends, laugh it off as a plain joke and still keep in touch with her. Siyeon unnie, you really need friends besides me and Handong unnie.” 

“Yeah...you’re, as always, right, Yoohyeon-ah.” Siyeon sighs nodding and thinking about how to smoothly do it later. Maybe because of her usual nervousness she won’t be able to do it smoothly...

“I just wish that you’ll soon recover from what happened and continue to enjoy your life to the fullest. Though it doesn’t seem to happen now, it sure will happen later.” Yoohyeon says placing her hand on the woman’s knee and lightly squeezing it.

“Look, Siyeon-ah, isn’t it a doll of Coraline?” Minji asks with excitement touching the yellow jacket of the doll. 

They both have day offs so they decided to spend it together. Awhile ago they ended their lunch at that Japanese restaurant that Minji’s been suggesting. Siyeon actually liked what the older woman ordered for her. That really rendered Minji satisfied and glad. After their lunch they took an aimless stroll in the city centre where later Siyeon wanted to visit one souvenir shop. 

So now they’ve been looking around and sometimes finding interesting things. For Siyeon’s surprise, that one odd looking doll caught Minji’s eyes. 

“She really looks as if she’s from that animated movie.” Minji exclaims while examining it with pure curiosity. Seeing it, Siyeon couldn’t help but to smile adoring this side of the blonde woman. She looked like a teenage fangirl which’s a really cute sight. “So cool.”

“It looks...kinda cute.” Siyeon then says with hesitation not sharing the same interest with the older woman. “From what movie is that?”

“Wait...You don’t know Coraline?” Minji asks turning her head to Siyeon still holding the doll in her hand. “It’s a really good story! I can say, one of my favourites. We can watch it together.” 

“Yeah, if we will have time for it.” Flustered Siyeon says awkwardly clearing her throat. “So you gonna buy it?”

“Yes, I will. Honestly, the first thing that I have a heart set on.” Minji says with a big smile pressing the toy to her chest like a child. Siyeon chuckles at the sight thinking how cute can this woman get sometimes. “What?”

“Nothing.” Siyeon says slightly shaking her head yet still smiling.

“Did you make it to home safely?” Minji asks through the phone. Her voice sounds worried. Siyeon smiles at the concern of the older woman. 

“Yeah, Minji unnie, everything’s fine.” Siyeon answers while laying on her bed. 

“Ok, that’s good. Sorry again for leaving you that early.” Siyeon can clearly hear the fatigue in Minji’s voice. “It’s been a hectic week in our department.”

“Unnie, I already said that it’s fine. Don’t be sorry for nothing, it’s work after all. I really can understand you. In the end we work in the same place.” Siyeon at the last sentence chuckles to light up the mood. 

“Yeah, you’re right, Siyeon-ah.” Siyeon involuntarily hopes that Minji had smiled too. Then there’re some loud rustling noises and voices from the other side of the phone. “I should get going.”

“Oh, good luck then, don’t overload yourself too much.” Siyeon says hastily holding the phone with both hands.

“Ok, I’ll try not to. Goodbye, Siyeon-ah.”

“Bye.” At last Siyeon says and then hangs up. 

The silence heavily lies on the room covering Siyeon in it completely. She thinks about Minji a little but after a while her thoughts automatically switch on the other person who’s been haunting her past month. In her heart there’s an uneasiness and confusion. At one hand she really likes Minji and is ready to start a new relationship, however on the other— she just can’t let go of _her_ even if she wants to. Every time she tries to forget she just unconsciously gets back to wondering about what’s she’s doing right now. 

From Siyeon’s mouth escapes a sigh. Maybe she just can’t let go because it’s unfinished between them and she really might miss her. 

“I might be going crazy.” Siyeon whispers while scrolling through her social media and then finding _her_ page. There’re updated photos that show _her_ with that guy she cheated with. Siyeon bitterly smirks while looking at their couple pictures. They’re still together, of course. 

There’re involuntary tears forming on the corners of brunette woman’s eyes. Siyeon dismissively wipes them and sniffs while opening direct message section. She’s not even drunk to do this reckless weak thing. So much unsaid words are kept in Siyeon. So much pain and sadness are still present in her soul. She just wants to let out all of this so Bora can understand how much she suffered because of her. She’s ready to do it, to start typing everything that’s been in her mind for so long.

But she doesn’t do it instead throwing her phone away from her. The loud thud and the sound of cracking glass can be clearly heard. But Siyeon doesn’t care. She just tightly hugs herself and starts rocking back and forth weeping and howling without out loud. She misses Bora so much and she hates it because she can’t forgive her. It might be one of the worst feeling ever.

After their regular strolls around the city centre on a day off, Minji and Siyeon are in the public bus that’s heading to their neighbourhood. It’s not so crowded here but the temperature of the summer sun is still giving a hard time. 

Minji is standing opposite to Siyeon a little further staring at her attentively when the brunette woman is not looking. She still doesn’t understand why her attention is always focused on the other woman but she’s not complaining about it at all. Maybe because Siyeon is different from anybody else she’s ever known. And maybe it’s her peculiar way of dressing up which matches her mysterious yet interesting character. So Minji can’t stop looking and taking every detail of her appearance in notice. And she already can expect that awkward yet adorable smile of Siyeon when their gazes meet. 

But what she can’t expect is that Siyeon closing her eyes and suddenly fainting in front of her. Thanks to Minji’s quick reflexes she luckily catches brunette. 

“Siyeon!” Minji calls out with panic and then loudly says. “Please stop the bus! A person fainted here! Stop the bus!”


	2. déjà vu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s a looong chapter so grab some snacks and drink with you beforehand. Hope you like it!

“I should’ve expect that.” Yoohyeon sighs while examining already awake Siyeon who’s resting in her own bed. The skin of the brunette feels really hot and her cheeks are all burning. Behind her Minji stands still worried and not knowing what to do. Sensing her awkwardness Yoohyeon turns around to the blonde. “Can you please wet some towels form the kitchen and bring them here?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll be right back.” Minji says at last leaving them. 

“So,” Yoohyeon turns back to the strangely quiet woman. “If we judging by her concern about you, I’d say you two are dating. But knowing your coward ass, you still didn’t ask her, am I right?”

“I’m not ready yet,” Siyeon finally answers looking away from her friend. “I just can’t stop thinking about _her_...”

“Oh, unnie, again?” Yoohyeon groans and buries her face in her hands. Then she takes a deep breath and looks up at Siyeon. “I know you said I shouldn’t talk about Bora unnie, but I have to tell you this for your own good. Did you know she ignores me because I apparently took your side?”

“What—“

“She doesn’t even talk to me every time bringing her shit boyfriend. Ugh, he works in the same hospital I’m interning in and he always brags about how much he treats well Bora. But, Siyeon unnie, you know what? The worst part is,” Yoohyeon says while placing her hand on the woman’s shoulder and squeezing it so the brunette would listen to her. “She doesn’t even seem to be missing you.”

“You’re saying it so I can—“ Siyeon removes her friend’s hand away but she can’t finish her sentence as Yoohyeon again cuts her off.

“I’m just telling the truth, unnie. She doesn’t suffer like you. Not a bit.” Silver haired woman sighs while shaking her head. Then hearing the footsteps that are getting closer every second, she quickly changes the topic as if nothing serious happened. “You’re such a trouble sometimes, aigoo! I told you to take those pills if you don’t feel like eating. But you did neither of them so now you’ve gained a new problem: bed rest for a week and a half so you could get rid of this flu with high temperature. You do know that I won’t be able to look after you?” 

“I can handle it myself.” Siyeon huffs. Her face is still red and she feels like burning.

“Here,” Minji, who just came into the room, places a basin full of water and several wet towels on the cupboard that’s beside the Siyeon’s bed. “I couldn’t find more towels.”

“Thank you, unnie. That would be enough.” Yoohyeon politely smiles and nods while getting up and starting to prepare the towels. “Don’t worry that much about Siyeon unnie. She just loves to suffer and dramatises everything.”

“How could you say this, Kim Yoohyeon?” Siyeon gasps while obediently receiving the treatment that the younger woman is giving her. “I fainted, dear gods! Ugh I think you won’t even move a brow when I die.”

“Unnie, don’t move.” The med. student shoos her placing a towel on her forehead and then taking her temperature. Siyeon mumbles something under breath with displeased expression. Meanwhile Minji just watches them and their dynamics with a smile on her face as she kinda enjoys it. When the tool beeps the med. student takes it back from Siyeon’s armpit and looks at the results. The loud gasp escapes from her mouth. “38,5 degrees!” 

“See? I’m dying.” Siyeon says while faking a cough. 

“Did you inform about it to your supervisor?” Yoohyeon asks.

“I already did,” Minji answers instead making the other two look at her. “After all we’re colleagues and Siyeon couldn’t do it as she’s been unconscious.”

“Thank you, unnie.” Siyeon says with a warm smile. 

“Whipped.” Yoohyeon coughs out the word so only the brunette would hear it. When seeing her friend flustered she looks quite amused by that. Then the silver haired woman gets up from her seat. “Well I have to go now.” 

“That early?” In Siyeon’s question there’s a apparent dismay. Despite how Yoohyeon can get annoying sometimes, Siyeon still wants her friend to stay longer. 

“Yeah, I already running out of time as I’ve been taken from my regular late evening rounds in the hospital. Of course it’s not my work at all, but our supervisor is a lazy man. So...” Yoohyeon quickly gathered her things and a hospital gown. She looks at the brunette with a encouraging smile. “After my shift ends I’ll drop by to bring needful medicines. Until that, unnie, stay strong.”

“Of course, I will. Who do you think I am?” Siyeon snickers but stops it immediately as her head hurts from it. “Take care, Yoohyeon-ah.”

“See you soon, unnie.” Yoohyeon says at last leaving the room and heading towards the exit. Minji walks out too so she can close the door after her. When they’re at the front door Yoohyeon turns around to the other woman. “Unnie, even though we know each other for only an hour, I, as a Siyeon unnie’s friend, have quite a big favour to ask you.”

“What is it?” Minji asks seemingly ready to help. Yoohyeon notices that and smiles thinking that Siyeon had laid her eyes on a right person. 

“Well,” She starts off fixing her coat on her hand. “as you know, Siyeon unnie has a bed rest for a week and a half meaning she needs a person to look after her at that period of time. I, unfortunately, won’t be able to do it as I have final exams coming up.” Then Yoohyeon sighs. Minji for some reason notices bags under her eyes only now. “Even though it doesn’t seem like it, Siyeon unnie is having a hard time in her life and I suspect it’s a main reason for her current condition. So she can’t be left on her own. Please can you look after her for that period of time?”

“Of course. I can take a time off at work, that’s for sure.” Minji nods with firm smile. “Don’t worry, Yoohyeon, I will take good care of her.”

“You’re a life saviour! Thank you. I knew I can rely on you.” Yoohyeon cheerfully exclaims. Then she says quick goodbye and opens the front door leaving the apartments.

Minji just stands there for a while thinking. Siyeon’s friend are kinda weird in a good way too. Then she heads to the bedroom later spotting the brunette quietly snoring. Minji comes closer and sits beside her. The frowned eyebrows and red face covered in sweat of her neighbour worries her. So she gets up and heads to her apartments in order to get more towels and later cook a chicken soup for the two of them. 

“Huh, M-Minji unnie? Why are you still here?” Siyeon asks weakly with her hoarse voice after waking up from the haze. Her vision is not clear yet however she can recognise the blonde. Older woman helps her to sit up.

“Careful and, well, someone has to look after you.” Minji answers taking a spoon of a hot soup and blowing on it slightly. After that she offers it to Siyeon. “You woke up just in time. I made you a chicken soup!”

“Oh, thanks.” Siyeon says and obediently sips from the spoon however she can’t hold her expression of dislike. Noticing the dismay on Minji’s face she hastily adds. “It’s really tasty, it’s just I don’t want to eat anything at all.”

“Well you have to in order to get better.” Minji sighs and continues to feed Siyeon. “You know I already told them that I will be looking after you. They, of course, got surprised we may be that close even though we’re from different departments but in the end they allowed me to do it since it’s been a year I had my last time off.”

“But you don’t have to do that, unnie.” Siyeon says after swallowing another spoon of hot liquid. “I’d understand if you won’t do it.”

“But I want to.” Minji says with slightly frowned brows and puts down the spoon in the bowl of soup. “I already agreed so I won’t change my mind. And besides I want to show that you can rely on me as a good friend. So please, Siyeon-ah, don’t reject my sign of affection.”

“Fine,” Siyeon sighs. Internally she’s glad that the other woman can’t notice her blush because of how red and hot her cheeks are because of flu. “Can you give me more of that soup?”

“I thought you didn’t like it.” Minji’s eyebrows slightly rise at the brunette’s request.

“Yeah, I mean no! I just started having an appetite.” Siyeon mumbles and then suddenly coughs. Her smile, that’s suppose to calm Minji that’s everything fine, gets too weak.

“Of course, let’s finish this up, shall we?”

“You know, you don’t have to sit here all the time.” Siyeon remarks noticing that Minji’s eyes are closing and she’s been with her nonstop for almost a day only several times leaving her for ten minutes.

“What?” Minji rises her head form her arms looking around. Previously she’s been dosing off on the Siyeon’s bed while sitting. When Minji spots Siyeon she yawns and stretches her arms and aching back. “What were you saying?”

“Unnie, go home so you can rest a bit.” Siyeon says with a displeased expression crossing her arms on her chest.

“But what if something happens at night?” Minji asks with concern. Siyeon chuckles at that. What did she do to deserve such a great person in her life?

“Don’t worry, it will be fine.” Siyeon reassures her by placing her hand on hers and gently squeezing it. “I don’t have a lunatic tendencies.”

“Okay then. Maybe I really need some rest.” Minji again yawns. “Before that let’s take some medicines, alright?”

“Yoohyeon already came?” 

“Yeah, while you were sleeping.” Minji answers finding the plastic bag full of medicines. Then she opens on of them pouring a little amount on the table spoon. “Oh, and she left some books to read if you get bored.”

“How kind of her.” Siyeon answers with tight smile already knowing that Yoohyeon is making fun of her like that because the books that she left are probably some erotic manhwas or encyclopaedias about plants. 

“She’s such a good friend.” Minji exclaims while getting closer to the brunette so she can give her the medicine. “Try to swallow everything, Siyeon-ah.”

“Sure.” Siyeon says taking the whole bowl of spoon in mouth and gulping all of the bitter liquid. She immediately regrets it as she’s feeling the mix of sour and salty taste on her tongue. But the worst part is that she’s too close to the woman in front of her and feels how her head is spinning from the inappropriate proximity of Minji. The blonde is focused on not spilling the liquid while the brunette one for some reason on her thick bottom lip. 

“And that one is done.” Minji says and pulls away from her. Siyeon only then notices that she’s been holding her breath the whole time. Apparently Minji notices it too and again gets close to Siyeon. She puts her hand on her sweating forehead. “Are you alright? You’re hot again.”

“Um...yeah,” To get away from her closure Siyeon lays down on her bed and covers herself with a blanket as a protection shield. “I think I just need to sleep.” 

“But let’s take the rest. It’s not that much.”

“Okay...”

“How you doing, unnie?” Yoohyeon asks while settling on a chair that’s beside Siyeon’s bed.

It’s been a week since Yoohyeon last visited her friend due to final exams. Today luckily she has a day off from lectures, interning in a hospital and studies. So she decided to spend this day with Siyeon and also give Minji a break from all of that. 

“How dare you to come shamelessly to me after a week of absolute absence?” Siyeon says with a serious face. Then she dramatically raises her voice. “Can you even imagine how much I’ve suffered from reading the books that you gave me?!” 

“What? You don’t like them?” Yoohyeon gets offended yet seems amused. “I’m sure you didn’t even open the encyclopaedia but the manhwas are the best ones from my collection!”

“Like can you imagine how much I fought Minji so she can’t figure out what’s there?!” Siyeon takes out one comics out of the stock and shows the page with erotic content. 

“Why you showing it to me? I already read that one.” The silver haired woman grins while taking the comics and closing it. “Minji unnie should read that too. She won’t regret it.”

“You want to die?!” Siyeon was about hit her hard but she immediately stops when the door cricks showing Minji’s head. “Oh, unnie! I thought you left already.”

“I forgot one thing here.” The blonde enters the room looking for one something. Apparently it’s her watch as she keeps rubbing her wrist. “Oh, found it!”

She approaches Siyeon’s bed and bends down over her so she can reach the watch. Of course meanwhile Siyeon gets flustered by her another closure. But it doesn’t last long as Minji takes it and pulls away.

“Guys, I’ll leave now, so spend your time well.” Minji tells them before leaving. 

Two other women wish her good afternoon too. When Minji’s already gone, Yoohyeon turns to Siyeon with a big grin on her face.

“What was that about?” Yoohyeon asks eagerly.

“What?” Siyeon acts oblivious.

“That, you know, when she—“ Yoohyeon tries to clarify but gets cut out.

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” Siyeon says firmly still blushing.

“That lesbian tension, for god’s sake! Don’t you run from this question.” Yoohyeon says ready to block her friend’s way if she intends to escape. Seeing this Siyeon just sighs finally giving up. 

“Honestly, I don’t know. These kind of moments happened numerous times this week.” At the memories of these moments her heart starts to beat more rapidly. “But I’m not sure if she does it on purpose considering she herself finds it awkward sometimes.”

“Well you still have a few days to figure this out then.” Med. student winks at her playfully in return getting smacked on hand by her embarrassed friend. “But I’m not kidding, unnie! Try to clear out this tension and don’t chicken out to ask her.”

“Whatever, Yoohyeon,” Siyeon rolls her eyes and then points with her head to the living room. “Let’s just watch some movie.”

“Fine. Let’s go.” Yoohyeon sighs and gets up.

“Unnie,” Siyeon takes Minji’s right hand and pushes aside the rolled sleeve of her black turtleneck. With the frowned expression she stares at the ugly purple bruise that’s located a bit higher on the inside of her elbow. Suddenly several scenarios of how she got this bruise are feverishly playing in her mind and the worst one involves an injury from someone else. “What happened to your arm?”

“Oh, this one,” Minji breathes out with awkward chuckle pulling her arm back and hiding the bruise under the long sleeve. She answers while looking away. “Yesterday I wanted to get something from the top shelf but I fell accidentally hurting myself.” 

“Unusual way of falling.” Siyeon notes sensing that something is off with the blonde. 

“What?” Minji looks up at her with raised eyebrows not getting what Siyeon meant by that. 

“Nothing,” Siyeon shakes her head chuckling weakly. “You should’ve been more careful, unnie.”

“Yeah, I know. But it doesn’t hurt that much.” Minji reassures her by placing her hand on the forearm of the brunette and smiling. Then she turns to the clock on a wall and exclaims at how late they’ve sitting here watching tv shows. “Let’s go to bed, Siyeon-ah.”

As Minji recently found out that Siyeon is delirious when she’s in deep sleep due to her illness, she started staying with her even at nights in the guest room. Today after putting Siyeon to bed she was about to leave as usual, but got held out by the brunette. Minji turns around and looks at her questionably. Luckily for Siyeon, she can’t distinguish her bright blush on her cheeks as the lights are dim. 

“Please, unnie, can you stay with me tonight? I just think I’ll have these nightmares again.” Siyeon asks her softly.

“Okay.” Minji responds and joins her right away. She properly coats them with blanket so Siyeon wouldn’t be cold. It feels pretty warm laying close to the brunette. Her even breathing tickles Minji’s mouth. At that she just smiles. “Sleep well, Siyeon-ah.”

“Good night.” Siyeon sleepily murmurs already dozing off. Then, for Minji’s surprise, she nuzzles to the crook of her neck as if she’s still seeking the warmth. Siyeon can smell the fragrant scent of strawberries from Minji’s skin. That’s the last thing she remembers before falling into the dreamworld. Meanwhile Minji instead continues patting her back humming a melody from her childhood. Her face pensively stares at one point. When the curtains are met with the rays of sun she finally falls asleep. 

“Yoohyeon-ah, if you fall accidentally while trying to reach for something on a top shelf, is it possible for bruise to form here?” Siyeon shows the same spot on her right arm that she saw on Minji yesterday. 

“Hm, it’s not likeable as it’s not the place that gets hit first,” Yoohyeon answers fixing her glasses. “I’d even say, yes, it’s not possible in most cases. Women who get this kind of bruises actually lie and defend their abusive husbands. But everything can happen.”

At the mention of this cold shiver runs down her spine. Siyeon gulps loudly, thinking of why Minji lied about that.

“From where did you see that kind of injury?” Yoohyeon asks putting down her book and fully paying attention to her friend. 

“Oh, Minji and I just saw a movie yesterday. One character had that kind of bruise.” Siyeon lies as she’s not ready to talk about it because maybe Minji didn’t lie and she really accidentally hurt herself. “I thought it’s not realistic enough to have a bruise there from falling, you know.”

“Yeah, in most movies there’re a lot of false things.” Yoohyeon agrees nodding her head. 

“You’re right.” Siyeon absently murmurs. 

The fact that Siyeon doesn’t see any more bruises on Minji’s skin calms her down and convinces her that she was again just paranoid for no reason. As Yoohyeon said earlier, anything can happen.

However even if it was true, that the blonde got that injury from a person, Siyeon is not close enough to her so she can interfere and barge into her personal life just like she’s not ready to share with her about Bora. Even if they spend most of their free time together, there’re still some boundaries between them that hold each of their personal stuff to themselves.

And not to mention that tension between them. Siyeon still thinks about it while she talks with her. It’s like she feels herself safe and free with her but at the same time she tenses up ever time the blonde gets close to her. Siyeon experiences absolutely controversial emotions within herself when she’s with Minji. It kinda thrills her, but also makes her to be attracted even more to the blonde.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Minji suddenly asks her noticing that Siyeon hasn’t been listening but instead staring at her lips. “Are you wondering about what lipstick do I use?” 

“What?” Siyeon snaps out of her thoughts looking up at her eyes. Repeating the asked question in her head, she immediately gets flustered after realising it. “K-kinda. I...like your bottom lip. I mean...how it’s shaped.”

“Well, I like your lips too,” Minji chuckles and gets closer openly glaring at the brunette’s lips and then looking up at her eyes. Siyeon can feel how her heart is beating fast against her chest ready to explode at any moment. “I especially like how you apply your lip liner making them look fuller and softer.” 

The tips of Minji’s fingers touch her lips while Siyeon is sitting still as if she’s paralysed. She can’t help but to let out a shaky sigh while closing her eyes. Why is she torturing her so much?

“Like you can melt in the softness of them,” Siyeon doesn’t want to open her eyes fearing if she does open them the woman in front her will simply disappear. Some rustling sounds can be heard meaning Minji is adjusting in her seat. However she didn’t back away—Siyeon still can clearly feel her breathing on her lips. “So tell me, Siyeon, what are you really thinking about?”

“Why are you giving me a hard time?” Siyeon scoffs opening her eyes and making daring eye contact. She gulps loudly at the little proximity between them and the ethereal beauty of the woman in front of her. The last bits of sanity at the back of her head hysterically screams at her warning not to tell her what’s really on her mind. Her heart skips a beat when she says the next sentence. “Kiss me already.”

“Sorry,” Minji finally pulls away and grins. “I’m afraid if I do, I’ll get sick.”

“But I’m already feeling better!” Siyeon whines and pouts. Actually she can’t believe they’re having this conversation as if the topic is about will they order a pizza or not. “Don’t be such a tease. I fully recovered, I promise.“

“Eh, not convincing enough.” Siyeon huffs displeased and lays back on her bed. Minji lays down too beside her and turns to the brunette taking in some dark strands of hair around her finger. “I need to get back to work tomorrow so—”

Minji’s hand that was playing with dark locks freezes in the air as Siyeon suddenly leans in and gently steals a kiss from her. Then with a big satisfied grin on her face Siyeon turns on her side showing her petite back to the blonde. 

“Good night then, unnie.”

Minji stays still processing of what just happened. Her cheeks start blushing at the realisation. 

“Ya! Lee Siyeon, and you think you can get away with that?” Minji pulls her by shoulder and hovers over her. Siyeon seems to be amused by her actions. However she involuntarily whimpers at the sight of Minji in front of her and immediately regrets it as the blonde heavily breathes and slowly runs her hand on her body. Siyeon bites her bottom lip trying to hold her another whimper. It’s funny how at the beginning of the day she wouldn’t even guess she would end up here: being pressed against the bed by her neighbour.

They stare at each other for a while until Minji finally lowers herself down capturing Siyeon’s lips in a deep, sensual kiss. Siyeon immediately reciprocates melting in the gentleness of Minji.

It turned out surprisingly not so rushed and aggressive how she used to do it with Bora. She can’t help but to compare the two lovers and their ways of making love to her in so opposite ways. Minji gave her the soft and gentle touches that she craved for. It’s been a while since she last had that kind of tender treatment. It felt almost unreal how she can be taken care of that way. 

They spent all night busy exploring each other’s body and sharing the love they didn’t they harbour for each other before. Siyeon felt so safe in her arms as if she’s finally home.

“You like that, huh?” Minji chuckles against back of her head when she notices that Siyeon has been absently pinching her hand for a near hour now. After they were done Minji still had some free hours before going to work so now they’re lazily laying in each other’s embrace and talking about mostly trivial things.

“Oh, sorry, I got carried away.” Siyeon stops doing it seeing how pink the skin on the back of Minji’s hand turned from constantly pinching. For some reason she expects scolding from Minji like Bora used to nag if Siyeon pinched her hand. 

_Ouch, stop it! Please, Singnie, I hate it when you do this. I have sensitive skin, for god’s sake!_

“Keep doing it, if you like it so much.” Minji offers her other hand now. “I suppose doing it somehow calms you.”

“Yes, but you’re hurting.” Siyeon hesitates instead intertwining their hands. Maybe Minji just lets her pinch her hand out of politeness.

“Don’t worry. I’ll get used to it. I’m serious.” Minji smiles and pecks her bare shoulder. Then she snuggles to her back. “Being with you somehow calms me too...”

“Hey, Siyeonie, the boss is calling all of us to the canteen. He’s got a big announcement or something like that.” One of her colleagues says before leaving with the rest. It was lunch break and Siyeon was getting ready to stay in her place and eat her lunch alone. She’s used to do it alone as she doesn’t get well with anyone else so particularly. 

Siyeon sighs and gets taking her lunch with her and then heading to the canteen where usually most workers from all departments eat their meal. 

She seats with her colleagues who, as usual, gossip or talk about stuff that she has no interest in. She occasionally adds something gaining no attention at all. At the moments like this she wonders why it’s always like this, boring and grey. Thinking for a while about it she in the end concludes that they’re stuck together as a pack purely because of work. In the group of people who have diverse interest you have to either choose fitting into this system changing or acting like changing your preferences or either choose staying as an outsider and keeping your interests to yourself. Siyeon chose second option as she’s not willing to love some gossiping or other trivial stuff.

Suddenly she notices that everyone got quiet for some reason. And the reason for that sits beside her sliding a hand on her waist.

“Hey, guys,” Minji cheerfully greets everyone. Siyeon with surprise in her eyes turns to her gaining an eloquent nod from the blonde. “What’s up?”

“Oh, it’s quite good actually!” Someone speaks up. “We were just wondering what will CEO will announce.”

“Oh, I’m curious about it too.” Minji responds while taking away her hand from Siyeon’s waist and instead placing it on her thigh under a table. A shiver goes down Siyeon’s spine at that action of the blonde. “I heard that he will relocate our department beside yours so I thought it’d be great to greet you.”

“If that’s true, how polite of you, Minji noona.” Someone answers.

“Yeah, we’d be really glad getting to know you closer!” Another guy says with excitement.

“I noticed that here are some attractive workers.” Minji smiles squeezing Siyeon’s thigh lightly yet causing her to blush and lower her head so no one would notice. Seeing it from her side view Minji grins. “It’d be a _pleasure_ to work with you, guys.”

“Oh, of course, you can’t even imagine how grateful we are!”

“Yeah, like you’re so professional.”

Everyone is so immersed in a conversation with Minji that they have no idea what she’s really doing under a table. Minji’s hand pushes Siyeon’s skirt away and lowers itself near to her core caressing and squeezing the skin underneath. Siyeon looks down trying to breath evenly while playing with her food as she totally lost her appetite. It’s surprising yet amusing to Minji how no one still noticed brunette’s red cheeks. 

“Hey, look! The CEO came.” 

Everyone turns to the central part of the canteen where the CEO of the company greets his employees through the microphone. 

Siyeon uses this moment to hold back Minji’s hand whispering to her.

“Stop it, unnie.”

“Why?” Minji smirks leaning in close to answer back in the same whispering tone. Siyeon loudly gulps at the next sentence. “You can’t even imagine how I missed you, Siyeon-ah.”

“Unnie, please... not now... not here.” Siyeon nevertheless continues to plead even if she likes what Minji is saying to her.

“Okay...” Minji finally lets go of her however she leaves a quick kiss on Siyeon’s neck rendering brunette again flustered.

Siyeon awkwardly coughs trying to listen to what is CEO saying. As Minji previously said, he’s talking about relocation of most departments due to several changes in the building. Hearing this Siyeon frowns. How did Minji find out about this beforehand?

After lunch each of them was busy with their work, when Minji came to her so they could get home on her car, she barely contained herself from stopping the car immediately and kissing the woman beside her. When they finally got home, for Minji’s surprise, Siyeon was the first one to break and pull her in a heated kiss. In the end, in Minji’s apartment’s when she was laying under Siyeon and accepting everything that the brunette was giving her, she supposed that her new little obsession was experiencing the same desire all day too. 

“You did great... my love,” Minji says panting hard and smiling through the pleasing fatigue that’s she feels all over her body. Seeing Siyeon in the same state she gets closer and leaves a quick kiss on her swollen plump lips. 

“I want to take a warm bath...” Siyeon randomly announces after a moment when her panting finally ceases. She’s already standing up from bed and walking towards the bathroom. Minji wonders how this woman can have an energy to even walk. “Can I use your bathroom?”

“Of course, anything for you...” The last words are whispered so the brunette probably doesn’t hear them. Minji looks at how Siyeon’s petite bare back disappears behind a closing door and a moment later she starts to hear rustling noises from the bathroom indicating Siyeon started filling the tub. With a lazy smile on her face Minji starts to hum some melody that her mother used to sing to her when her head barely reached her father’s knee. Memories full of childhood joy start to play in front of her closed eyes. She can even hear her father’s laugh and her mother’s nagging. 

Then her thoughts get back to the reality and she opens her eyes now without a smile on her face. With a tired sigh she gets up and heads to the bathroom while putting on some rope from her closet. When she quietly opens the door peeking through it she spots Siyeon who’s already in the tub. 

“Oh, I thought you’re already asleep.” Siyeon says softly. She’s resting her chin on her knees that are tightly pressed to her chest. “You seemed exhausted.”

“Actually, I am... a little,” Minji chuckles and puts a little chair beside the tub then sitting down on it. “But my desire to bath you is stronger.”

“I was just starting by the way.” As a confirmation to her words Minji doesn’t see any shampoos or any care products around her. 

“Okay, let me take care of you then.” Minji says taking several of her favourite hair care products and putting them beside the brunette. “I hope that’ll do.”

“I don’t have problematic hair, so you can use anything on me,” Siyeon speaks up watching how water drops from her fingertips. Then she hears how Minji opens the tube and squeezes some viscous liquid, a moment later rubbing it between her palms. Siyeon lets a content sigh when she feels how the other woman’s hands start to softly work the shampoo into the roots of her hair. She even starts to hum because of how gently and quite slowly Minji’s hands massage her scalp. When the applied shampoo start to foam she suddenly remembers one thing that’s been eating her up all day. “How did you know that there will be changes in our departments?”

“Oh, that one,” Minji chuckles awkwardly. ”Our CEO, Lee Chuwon... We get to work together a lot so I heard him talking about changing departments’ places with other workers.”

“I see.” Siyeon pensively answers and recalls the image of a young handsome man who can get any woman with his success and stuff. She also recalls some rumours that her colleagues were sharing in the past. It was about a secret relationship between him and his employees, including Minji. “He’d be a perfect match for you, unnie.”

Minji stops washing her hair. When Siyeon turns her head to her, she’s met with unreadable expression. 

“Why do you say that?” Minji asks shortly.

“Well, he’s rich meaning he can support and treat you well. He’s good-looking and have manners as I heard.” Siyeon says while looking ahead of herself. She can feel how her habit of beating herself up is starts to light up. She despises herself in these kind of situations because it’s not right to mock herself but she cant help it. “He’d be much better pair for you than me—“

She’s interrupted as Minji holds her by chin and makes the brunette to look at her. However she can’t say a word as the blonde forcefully pulls her in a passionate kiss. As Siyeon wants to pull away Minji holds her still by burying her hand in wet dark locks and gripping them _hard_. The brunette whimpers at that, opening her mouth so Minji slips her tongue in. Eventually Siyeon just gives up and weakly reciprocates.

This continues for a while until there’re no oxygen and Minji has to pull away leaving a thin string of mixed saliva that’s connecting their lips. Siyeon hastily wipes it with a back of her hand. Both women pant hard while intensely looking at each other.

“Siyeon, you’re... a _perfect_ match for me,” Minji finally says the words that she means with every bit of her body. “So do not say these kind of things anymore.”

“Sorry...” Siyeon manages to apologise while still breathing unevenly.

“Let’s finish washing you up, shall we?” Minji softly offers, gently caressing her cheek. Then she glances at the puddle of water on the floor that she caused while kissing Siyeon. “And I guess cleaning here too.”

“Are ready to go on a trip?” Siyeon asks with excitement when Minji opened her front door. Minji greets her awkwardly as the big goofy smile on Siyeon’s face immediately disappears as she notices how swollen her left cheek is. “What happened to your face?”

“I... um... fell asleep on a coach yesterday.” Minji says while nervously smiling. “You know, that sometimes happens to me and—“

“Did you at least put an compressor on it?” Siyeon asks with concern. 

“I don’t have it actually...” Minji shakes her head with sigh. Next second she’s sited by Siyeon on the couch. 

“Be here, unnie. I’ll make it then.”

“Siyeon, you don’t have to—“ She tries to stand up but the brunette doesn’t let her by firmly holding her shoulders.

“Let me this time take care of you, okay?” Siyeon asks with warm smile. Her words make Minji’s heart flutter. The blonde just obediently nods. 

Five minutes later Siyeon comes back from kitchen with ready compressor in her hands. She gently presses it to her still swollen cheek. 

“Hold it, like, twenty minutes so at least the pain could alleviate.” Siyeon says sitting beside her. Minji covers brunette’s hand with her own staring at her with heart eyes. “Why you looking at me like that?” 

“I’m just thinking how lucky I am to have a caring woman beside me.” Minji smiles softly making Siyeon again flustered.

“God, why you’re so cheesy!” Siyeon complains turning her face away so Minji couldn’t see her blush. Then she suddenly stands up and heads to Minji’s bedroom. “I’ll get ready your clothes for the trip, shout if you need something...”

“Okay!” Minji chuckles at her reaction. 

When she makes sure that Siyeon is in another room, her goofy smile slowly fades away giving a way to a melancholic look. She looks around the room, eventually finding some recent sharp pieces of glass on the floor. She takes them with bare hand not caring about getting cut and throws them through the window. Luckily she was careful and didn’t get any cuts. After that she again looks around her apartment making sure no one else is home. Minji sighs with relief when she doesn’t spot anyone. With a compressor still pressed to her cheek she heads to her bedroom to join Siyeon in getting ready her luggage.

“So where are we going?” Siyeon asks eagerly sitting on a passenger seat of Minji’s car. 

They’ve just crossed the city’s borders. It’s ten in the morning and the weather is nice and warm. It’s a perfect atmosphere for these kind of trips. Even if rays of the sun heat the inside of the car a little too much, the strong wind coming from the window is compensating this hot temperature. 

“Well, we’re heading to Damyang, a country in Jeolla province. Have you ever been there?” Minji speaks up focused on the road.

“Honestly, no. I’ve only been to some countrysides near Seoul and Daegu. That’s it. Not even Jeju Island, you know.” Siyeon says clearly and a bit louder as she’s choosing the radio station. 

“What’s a pity, Siyeon-ah. I should get you there one day. It earns its fame for a reason. It’s a mesmerising place.” Minji says with an enthusiasm remembering the time she visited the Island with her friends. The good memories make her smile.

“If you say so, unnie,” Siyeon says with satisfied grin and quickly smooches her on the cheek making the older woman chuckle. “But for now, talk about Damyang. Why did you choose this place?”

“Well,” Minji clears out her throat. “it’s my favourite place as my parents used to bring me there often. I loved to stroll all day around the forests there, sometimes I even wanted to get lost there and meet mysterious and thrilling creatures of the magical forests.” 

“How cute.” Siyeon chuckles at the silliness of the younger Minji. “Maybe we really could find them this time.”

“I hope so too,” Minji says sparing a quick glance at the brunette and then continuing her talk. “Later, when I was at my teenage age, I found out that my parents went there solely as a sing of successfully making up after a big argument. They used to fight a lot because their personalities totally differ, even now. My mom suffered a lot which was terrifying to me as I couldn’t believe that two people, whom I loved so much, could do that kind of things to each other.” 

“So why didn’t they divorce?” Siyeon sounds bewildered.

“It’s not that simple, Siyeon-ah. First of all, I was the main reason that held them together, and, second of all, there would be a public judgement and shaming.” Minji sighs. “Anyways we don’t visit this place together anymore. But it’s still my favourite place as it keeps a lot of good precious memories to me. Sometimes when I’m free go there alone to get a rest from reality. It helps me to get rid of some unwanted tension and stress. So I thought you’d like that.”

“I think I’ll love it, unnie.” Siyeon says while placing her hand on top of Minji’s that’s on a gear lever.

“Unnie, how much longer we have to walk like that?” Siyeon whines while being blindfolded by Minji’s hands and guided by her for about ten minutes already. Even if she seems to be complaining, the rustling sounds of cracking leaves under their feet and bird chirping in a forest already satisfies her. Also crickets complement this orchestra of forest sounds perfectly. The pleasingly chilling wind that blows at their exposed skin and the fresh smell of a trees after a rain. 

“You’re so impatient, Siyeon-ah. Wait a little bit more, I promise it will be worth it.” Minji reassures her by sweetly whispering in her ear.

“Okay... I t-trust you.” Siyeon can feel how her cheeks and ears are blushing and betraying her by that. She only can thank the chill wind that helps her to cool down a bit. The way Minji is back hugging her while maintaining to close her eyes is making her go dizzy. She tries to breath evenly. 

As she thought that she got used to that position, Minji again gets closer to her ear and says. “We’re here.”

After that the blonde takes back her arms behind her back and lets Siyeon to see her favourite place. Her heart beats at the anticipation of the brunette’s reaction.

When Siyeon opens her eyes the too much brightness firstly blinds her vision for a short moment after revealing green surroundings of the forest. Apparently they’ve been walking on a wide path between bamboo stocks that stood tall and intimidating as many of them seem to be leaning in their side. However it’s still breathtaking view to witness as Siyeon felt herself so small standing there. The rays of the sun are trying to make their way through the packed stems of the trees which is resulted in the bright sharp cracks of light on the ground. 

“This place is wonderful... “ Siyeon gasps and awes looking around. She’s been to countrysides before where there were forests too but not like this one. It looked so peaceful and isolated from the outside world. “It makes me so calm.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I wanted to share it with you,” Minji says taking her hand in her own and intertwining them. That’s catches Siyeon’s attention making her to look at the blonde. Corners of Minji’s mouth are lifted showing her happy bright smile. She nods her head to the paths direction. “Let’s go.” 

Siyeon involuntarily copies her happy smile while walking with her and feeling how securely locked their hands are. This special moment might be one of her favourite ones. 

“Siyeon, I have something important to say.” Suddenly Minji starts off seeming to be pretty calm. In reality her nerves are wrecking her hard. 

After they strolled for a while in the forest, Minji drove her to the local restaurant where the couple spent good time enjoying the dinner and being engrossed in the conversation with each other. Initially they planned to sleep in the car so Minji parked it on one of the cliffs that had a beautiful view on a town. Siyeon helped her to make a comfortable sleeping space in the back of the car as they folded back seats.

So now they’re covered in blankets and laying cuddled with an open trunk’s door watching the towns night lights. Surprisingly there’re no bothering insects.

“What is it?” Siyeon turns her head so she could look at Minji who got up on her ankle. 

“Two month ago I didn’t even imagine myself to be with you like this close,” Minji starts off while watching how her hand nervously plays with dark locks. “At that time I wasn’t expecting anyone special. Like I didn’t even look for someone particular. I just wanted a good friend from the locals. However after meeting you my world turned upside down. Being with you was like a fresh air in that forest. It’s like you gave me freedom by just being present beside me. I haven’t had enough courage before to tell you but now I understood that you have to know that I have... “ At the last words Minji starts to repeat herself not bringing the sentence to the end. “I have fi... I have feelings for you for a while now.” Then she quickly adds internally berating herself for ruining the moment. “I know that it might be too early for you so I don’t expect you to answer me right away—“

“Unnie, I have feelings for you too,” Siyeon interrupts and then brings herself closer to the other woman locking their lips together. Their kiss isn’t so heated but rather sensual. After awhile Siyeon pulls away smiling happily and staring at Minji with so much love. “You know you’re the kind of person for whom everyone falls too fast. So I’m not surprised.”

“Aigoo, who taught you that kind of cheesiness?” Minji chuckles feeling how her cheeks are turning red.

“I learnt from the cheesiest person alive, Kim Minji.” Siyeon grins and winks back.

“Ya, what a brat!” Minji playfully says and starts to tickle the brunette. 

“Pfft...please... don’t, unnie... I’m too sensitive...“ Siyeon whines while uncontrollably laughing. 

“But isn’t it the whole point?” Minji acts oblivious and continues to tickle the brunette. 

When Minji decides it’s enough she stops and kisses her on the cheek then placing her head on Siyeon’s shoulder. The brunette embraces her. A content sigh escapes Minji’s mouth at that sign of affection. She wishes her every night to be like that, in the arms of her loved one. 

Of course, Minji had to tell the truth until it was too late. However every time she had a perfect moment something immediately held her back. Later while contemplating about it Minji realised every time the fear of losing Siyeon got stuck in her throat not letting her to speak. The fear of losing and making her upset really held her back so every time she procrastinated this confession hoping she’d do it later. 

The worst part was because of that Siyeon was going to find out about it herself. Minji was so wrong, oh, so wrong for not telling her earlier.

Siyeon was waiting for Minji in the blonde’s apartment and looking around the house. The blonde’s flat is noticeably different from hers. Almost in every corner there’s a plushie or something pink meanwhile the only thing Siyeon has everywhere in her home is dark or black accessories mostly in the shape of scalp. Siyeon grins at their contrast. They’re really different yet lately she discovered a lot of interesting things about the older woman. For instance, Minji always has something to eat in her home or that she, surprisingly, listens to some of Siyeon’s favourite bands. Because of that she hopes that one day they can attend many concerts of their favourite bands together. 

Siyeon smiles at the sight of another teddy bear that’s on the left corner of the wood wardrobe in the bedroom. The brunette shakes her head not even wanting to know how many of them are hiding so she just jumps on Minji’s bed enjoying the softness of the mattress under her. She stays like this for a while wondering about Minji and when she finally comes so that they can go to the park and enjoy the today’s wonderful weather. 

She was already dozing off when she hears the front door opening. It makes her to get up excitedly and walk towards hallway where’s the new visitor is.

“Unnie, what took you so l—“ Siyeon stops halfway when she spots a man’s figure. “Who are you and the hell you’re doing here?” 

A stranger turns around revealing familiar face. It’s a fit man in a grey suit. After putting his coat on the he calmly bows to the woman.

“Good afternoon.” He greets her and walks towards her offering a hand. Siyeon still backs away and hesitates to accept the handshake. He takes away his hand nevertheless still talking. “You must be Siyeon. She told me a lot of things about you. Nice to finally meet you. I’m Lee Chuwon, Minji’s fiancé.”

“What?” Siyeon doesn’t process the said words at first. When she finally realises it she scoffs. “You must be kidding me. These’s a mistake.”

“No, I don’t think so. We’re really engaged.” The man says rubbing his chin, then showing his ring on his hand. Something drops in Siyeon’s stomach at the sight. Seeing her expression he says. “What a pity, she forgot to inform you about me. You must know she can sometimes be forgetful.” 

As he notices her still present shock Chuwon keeps talking, internally amused by her reaction. 

“She must come here in a minute. We can wait here together.” He slides his arm around her waist but she instantly pushes him away. A bit too hard as he almost falls. 

“Get off me.” Siyeon spits through gritted teeth feeling how her rage starts to boil inside of her. It’s getting hard to even breathe as she wants to break something immediately. She clenches her hands in fits trying to calm herself down which is pretty unsuccessful. Her eyes start to get wet so she turns around and leaves. 

“Where are you going, we could drink some tea—“ She hears behind her and distinguishes a mocking in his tone. 

When she gets to the hallway she’s met with oblivious Minji. Her heart clenches at the sight of the blonde.

“Siyeon-ah, why are you—“

“So you’re fucking engaged?!” Siyeon curtly interrupts raising her voice and feeling how she can break any moment. For some reason it feels like she’s having a freaking déjà vu. Her vision gets blurry as the tears start to stream from her eyes. She hastily wipes them. “You’re such a liar. I even started believing that I loved you... Guess all of this was a lie... ”

She walks pass her but the next second gets held by Minji.

“Wait, Siyeon, let me explain, please—“ 

“You think explaining will fix something?” Siyeon turns around and gets close to her. She can clearly see the desperation in Minji’s eyes. She can’t help but to yell. “You’re, for fuck’s sake, engaged!”

“Siyeon, please, try to understand.” Minji can feel how her heart beats fast as crazy. She’s totally screwed. “You’re special to me and it’s—“

_But you’re special, Singnie, please don’t go. I had to do it! Please, Singnie..._

“Let go of me.” Siyeon cuts her speech not even listening. The same pain that she felt when Bora did the same comes back and every single time it’s unbearable. She can’t believe she’s been a fool to fall for that again.

“Siyeon—“ Minji chokes up crying too. 

“I don’t want to see you anymore. Don’t you dare to touch me or come around me ever again. If you will, I swear...” Siyeon spits the words like poison hoping that the blonde suffers as much as she does. As Minji isn’t letting go, Siyeon tears her arm away, looking dejected. At last she coldly says. “Your fiancé. He’s waiting for you.” 

And with that words she turns around and walks away. 

Minji stares back wanting to chase after her and explain everything again but she doesn’t move. She can’t as if rooted to the spot...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooh! That’s a rollercoaster of emotions but there will be more(as well as new characters) in the next chapter because it might be the last part of this story.


End file.
